Fireside Chat

The fireside chat was by far the most moving and the most incredible of anything we have done so far. I can honestly say that some of the pieces truly touched me and spoke to me. I think I loved the entire process more than any of the other assignments as well. I think part of it was the performing, there’s a sort of terrifying thrill of performing that I find exciting and invigorating. But even that being said, there was so much more to the meaning of this assignment than the performance. For me, it was mostly in creation.

I decided that since the whole point of this class is to stretch ourselves, explore new mediums/inspirations, and to even put ourselves out there, that I would perform a rap. It combined my natural skill of rhythmic rhyming with a form and culture I have little to no experience in. I was going for a sound and style like Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”, which though I haven’t heard since high school, it still stuck with me and reminds me that not all rap is crap. I knew that my lyrics would need a song to start with, so I rummaged through my spotify and found one of my particular favorite instrumentals-- “Palladio” by Escala. I find it so powerful, moving, and exactly the kind of style that I was hoping to emulate. However, I will confess I was really scared, because I was worried that such a heavy form would create misunderstandings about me and my classmates. I didn’t want everyone to think that I was this heavy, angsty guy, but I decided to go through with it anyway. I’m so glad I did.

The subject matter: Why did I pick standing up for/defending yourself? No, I haven’t really had a problem with it in my life, at least not in that way. I did it because it was the first thing that came to my mind because it is something I believe in, and I thought I could put it across in a unique way, especially with this form, because of the same ideologies I have in my decision to join the Army. So, I created a narrative. I picked a story of a young man that formed in my head and put it to rhyme in the rhythm of the song. I was pretty proud of the lyrics when it was finished, but I wanted to check how I sounded...such a bad idea. I listened to myself and almost swore then and there that I would completely change my piece (this was the night before). However, I decided to go for it for the same reasons I came up with the idea: I wanted to stretch myself and put myself out there.

So, I went all out. I dressed to fit the occasion, especially choosing clothes with a military theme or feel, because that relates directly to the subject of my belief: Defending and standing up for oneself and what you care about/believe in. I was so scared, my hands were shaking really bad, but as the music came on and the words came out, though I stumbled a few times, I actually really enjoyed it.